You Don’t Need to Wear a Scary Costume to Be Monstrous This Halloween (You Are Monstrous the Way You Are)

© Matthew Kirscht
© Matthew Kirscht

We humans, we are monstrous.

We kill spiders, moths, ants, and other minibeasts without remorse.

We shoot birds for sport. (And boars and bears and tigers and elephants and other animals, too.)

We raise chickens only so we can twist their necks and roast them and devour them. (To say nothing of cattle, sheep, and pigs.)

We pluck roses and tulips and other flowers just so we can smell them for a second and then we forsake them in a vase, leaving them to wither.

We overeat and throw food we don’t like away, while in Africa children starve. We don’t care about their cemeteries of ribs.

We sit in the comfort of our homes reading books and blogs and writing fiction instead of becoming volunteers and helping to solve problems out there on the streets.

We consume huge amounts of natural resources and then pollute streams and rivers and fill wide areas with our trash.

We throw plastics into the sea. (Birds die because of this, to say nothing of the fish.)

We pick and choose the most beautiful animals from the world and lock them into cages only so that our children can laugh and roar and stare and cry, ‘Look, daddy, look! It’s a zebra! It has stripes!’ (‘Mommy, mommy, why is the zebra so sad?’)

We use atomic bombs to make peace.

We cut trees to print Fifty Shades of Grey.

We speak insolently to our mothers, we disrespect our fathers, we slap our children, we cheat our partners.

We choose lovers based on appearances alone and then when they dump us we bemoan our tragic fate and call ourselves unfortunate and hopeless while there are people in the world who have real problems. Like cancer.

We don’t weep when our grandmothers or fathers die.

We do the dirty deed of darkness almost every night and then use copious amounts of shower water to wash our filthy bodies. In Africa more than 2,500 children are dying each day of thirst.

We socialize on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and other social networks with people who live continents away, and yet when we meet a homeless person on the street we don’t even say hello. We look the other way.

In conclusion,

We humans do monstrous things every day.

We are monstrous the way were are.

We don’t need to purchase witch/mummy/vampire costumes.

Let’s donate the money to charity instead.

Dear reader, aren’t you monstrous too, at least a little?


PS: The author of this post is a person of a cheerful, hopeful disposition. He is not angry with the world, for, being himself a tiny part of it, admits he is guilty of most of the above. During the writing of this post he tried hard to weep or at least to feel sad, but, alas, he failed.

143 thoughts on “You Don’t Need to Wear a Scary Costume to Be Monstrous This Halloween (You Are Monstrous the Way You Are)

  1. Yes, man is a bastard and his women are bitches. Go against him or her and get drama and he or she will laugh as you die the slow death of life.

    1. Well said, sir professor!

      I have no intention whatsoever to go against my brothers and sisters. As I’ve said, I’m monstrous myself.

      It’s just stating, the obvious, as I often do.

  2. If only we had evolved so that we photosynthesized instead of having to eat…

  3. Yes, we are. We are terrible. I deplore the state of mankind every day. And then I bury myself in another book made of trees to try to forget it.

    1. Yay! Jessica survived her marathon!

      Hip hip hooray!

      *Tosses hat into the air. Hat falls back properly on the head, with a little tilt toward Jessica. Hopes Jessica is impressed.*

  4. This is the best Halloween post there ever was or ever will be. Did I ever tell you I love the way you call the creepy crawlies “minibeasts”? You are my favourite minibeast 😉

  5. Yet, if you read history, there is no denying we are not such violent brutes as once we were – from paleolithic, mesolithic, neolithic, bronze age, iron age, the atrocities committed in the name of Christianity, the witch hunts, the torture chambers. We began to smarten up a couple of centuries ago, and still we’re improving. Don’t believe me? Your post with its comments is all the evidence you need..

    1. I have to wonder if you know anything of your 20th century history; or if you read world news. Only with your head firmly buried in the sand could you really believe we are not still a race of violent brutes, whitewashed by lattes to delude ourselves that we’re really all basically “good.”

      The question is: is there anything that can be done about it?

      1. I have no wish for heavy dispute. Yet if you knew world history from the very beginnings of before before civilisation, if you knew the atrocities that were commonplace e.g. in medieval period, you would be able to see there has indeed been improvement. May I direct you to a book recently published, by Steven Pinker, ‘The Better Angels of our Nature’. It is unexpectedly enlightening.

  6. Ah, the monstrosity of life among madmen in an entropic, finite universe. You have put it well! I prefer not to dwell too heavily on the monstrous, but you are right that we should not sugar-coat it with funny costumes.

    (Thought I’d finally cease lurking like a monster on your blog and make a comment. You do fantastic stuff here, hat-wearer! Thank you.)

  7. Interesting post, Vincent. I laughed at some parts because it’s all true. In a way, it’s almost nice to know these universal truths won’t change. All we can do is change ourselves.

  8. Very well, Vincent! Very well… You’re right. We all are monstrous. So am I. And I wish it wasn’t so, so I step aside more and more of those simple everyday monstrous behaviors to live in better harmony. But it takes a lot of strength and a big journey…

    We should all help and support one another to be more “human”.

  9. Nice story, but people are not monsters because we kill ant eat animals, that’s part of life, and it is how God created us, and that is how it is meant to be. But I get what you where trying to do.

  10. So true. I know I’ve been a monster but I have to fight a monster at work every day and believe me this is the most monstrous beast ever born. Sorry didn’t mean to be so irate but you truly defined it.

  11. Hey there,
    Great assessment of humanity! And that’s coming from an actual alien, so perhaps that means something. Been going through your site. I love how you combine intelligence with humor and daring introspective analysis…in other words: I’m a fan!

  12. Odds are you aren’t into rap, but here’s a rap-ish look into imperialism. This was composed prior to the enjoyment of your article. a pure 16

    vodka and juice, got these bitches actin loose
    im writin this by request from some on the wordpress
    im gettin head like a moose, i got the reddest hands too
    im caught with the blood, like swahili, zulu
    who you finna shoot? i got [drones] on your roof
    and i got tigers as pets, wolves in the backyard behind electrical fence
    those bitches talked shit, past tense
    i put em in their place, like thought reform
    totalism is ideal, if my personality is the norm
    im easy in the storm, my bitches are in porn
    i got no reason as to why i am scorned
    they hate because , roses have thorns
    im outgrowing all that does one harm
    until you grow out of archaic notion, love as deep as the ocean
    will not be yours, no matter how much that you are hopin
    because if you want it, come grab it, then undying love on earth, you can have it
    im timeless

  13. I agree with a lot of the points you make. However, aren’t you technically complaining about yourself when you’re writing a blog? Or do you regularly volunteer to help others while also writing a blog about helping others?

  14. Yes, but compare today’s monsters to the middle ages without education, murder at will, life expectancy 35, massive wars just about every other year, and disease. Hey, we are improving, aren’t we? Can’t have everything. Good piece, enjoyed it.

    1. Of course we are improving.

      But then let’s think of Roman times. In many of the history books I’ve read the Middle Ages, or better put the Dark Ages, are considered a period of decline after the civilizations of the Greeks and Romans. So rise, decline, rise again. Maybe another decline is coming?

      I wouldn’t worry too much, though. We’ll die in a few decades anyway.

  15. You pulled quite a punch… I enjoyed your post. All I can say is that if only I got to do the ‘dirty deed of darkness almost every night’ I would be monstrously happy 😉

  16. A nice way of thinking, fellow monster. Truly, human beings are monstrous (based on this post of yours which says that humans are monstrous based on the things they do), so does it also mean that all other creatures who act the same way are also monsters? For example, a bird. A bird needs food to live, so it flies down to the ground and murders an innocent worm. But in the end, I still agree with this post. Human beings are in fact dangerous, but not entirely demonic to the point where in they would just stab and eat other people not because of insanity but because of fun. Usually, it depends on the situation and on the person. It’s not like everyone doesn’t weep when their grandparents die. Some human beings happen to have different ways of thinking while others are just common. Anyways, I enjoyed your post.

    Sorry for babbling too much.

  17. I remember, reading somewhere that man is at the top of the food chain because we are the top predator in all of nature. Or, something along those lines? but your words summarizes it perfectly. 😀

  18. well put dude, and although it’s a sad world we reside on, one must be the change we wish to see in the world no matter what the cost, so long as that change is positive of course

  19. I can’t believe you monsters are people. Where is ‘e. He should be here, commenting. I like your blog, boy with hat. Hat with boy. Sorry – I drunk is. Good shit. People are fuckin’ weird. Monsters. If I were a monster, I’d put a human mask on.

  20. Cute post … I am happy to say I am vegetarian and am against zoos… may be guilty of some of the other monstrous acts though!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed 🙂

    1. Your eating habits are responsible for the killing of millions of animals each year. (Source)

      All those free range, poor animals just going about their life and then their bodies tossed aside with no respect. Bitch about the steak or venison tacos I’m eating, but stay silent about your responsibility for the death of all those rabbits, skunks, snakes, squirrels, and other animals.

      Wheat is murder!

  21. Birds, boars, and other animals are FOOD. Stop with the human hate and the bleeding hearts: It’ll kill you.

    I wish Halloween was still scary and not a day in which sluts pretend to be wearing costumes…

  22. The truth (as always) is bitter.
    Agreed, we humans want the world to change – when we fail to notice that the first step is to change ourselves.
    Your post made me feel equally guilty as I think you may have felt while typing it out.
    Anyways, good work 🙂

    1. And I wonder whether anged with the world isn’t only misdirected anger, whether it’s easier to be angry than to do good, not on a global scale, for that is beyond anyone’s power, but on a personal level.

      1. It is easier to be angry and cynical. It hurts less. And the global scale matter is very much interrelated with personal matters.

      1. You know, nowadays there are mosquitos that will kill you without remorse. I know they have instincts while we get to make a choice, but still…in the universal balance…I am a priority for myself.

                1. Well, let me tell it to you…

                  ‘Mosquito, she had said, had asked Ear to marry him, whereupon Ear fell on the floor in uncontrollable laughter. “How much longer do you think you will live?” she asked. “You are already a skeleton.” Mosquito went away humiliated, and any time he passed her way he told Ear that he was still alive.’

  23. We are monsters, tis true men are in general more monstrous than women, I suppose it is the nurturing gene and yet some kill their young. It has become necessary here to kill without mercy as many are carrying the Zika virus. It’s not their fault, perhaps biological warfare, who knows, we are monsters.

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