If You Bathe At Least Once A Week, You Must Read This

Woman in the Tub by Lee Price

Woman, when you bathe you think you are alone,

But it is not so.

In a shadowy corner,

On a silky web,

A tiny spider gapes,

His eight eyes fixed with fascination

On your soapy nudity.


In the dead of night,

While you sleep,

The tiny spider visits me,

And I, bribing him with a dead fly,

Encourage him to report the wonders he has seen.


I know about your moles,

I know about your wrinkles,

I know that your breasts, though small,

Outround the orange,

And that your thighs

Could make a cannibal out of a fasting monk.

I also know that the dangerous line of your hip,

If shown to architects,

Would make them forsake their dull straight lines

And revise their sketches:

All new houses would be curvy.

And as to that on which you sit,

(I don’t like any of the words we use for it

One being crass, the others imprecise)

Compared to it, the pillow seems but rough.


I will not say more,

For you may take offence.

Please blame not me,

I only repeat what I have heard,

From that tiny spider which,

Even as we speak,

Dangles on his silky web,

Observing you.

Eight eyes he needs,

To see you well;

Such is your beauty.


Do you mind the little spider?

Painting copyright: Lee Price

60 thoughts on “If You Bathe At Least Once A Week, You Must Read This

      1. Funny guy! I just changed that photo. I like this recent shot for a couple reasons. I just like the shot and as I get older I hide the face. At least until recently when my man told me again, how beautiful I was. I will probably change it again and then you can see that it is not so fishy.

  1. This is so well-written, Vincent.
    All the little things… Must say, that spider has a keen eye!
    Now that I know he is watching me, I might as well strut my stuff. Haha!

    Sent with love.

          1. See, that’s the thing about ‘probably’ – You may, or you may not. I prefer the latter; All of us do.
            And personally, I feel that dying is just a state of mind.
            ‘Probably’ not the kind of reaction you were expecting.
            You’ll be alright, Vincent. Smile! 🙂

  2. I really really love this! I read it so many times and now I am showing it to my husband because this was just so rich and wonderful and your writing is simply glorious!

  3. OMG! I am SO doing a spider check before bathing. Though, this is a love letter I’d adore receiving. Wait, just not from a neighbor I barely know. 🙂

  4. Those poor monks are always fasting. Do they crave Mars bars, too?

    (I’m with the others. Your words astound — and make women blush!)

  5. simply beautiful… you’ve created something magical out of something mundane and ordinary.

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