Climate Change, Oh Climate Change, Why Are You Unsnowing My Christmas?

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I don’t know where you live or what you see if you look out your window, whether it’s all dazzling white out there or tropical sunshine or something in between, a hazy shade of winter perhaps, but back here in a little town in faraway Romania, it’s ridiculously sunny, the crisp and clear sunshine of fresh winter, and there is not the faintest trace of snow or at least sleet. That would be just fine I suppose, if Christmas wasn’t just around the corner. I don’t know about you, but the thought of a snowless Christmas has always made me… uncomfortable. Well-lighted tree? Check. Beautifully-wrapped gifts? Check. Holiday specialties? Check. Snow?  Snow?! Sigh. Something is missing this Christmas.

When I was little, we always had snow in December. Snow that blanketed the streets, that lent the rooftops and chimneys a particular charm, that made for excellent snowball fights, that could be turned into pompous snowmen. That wasn’t such a long time ago, you know – I’m only twenty-four. But alas, during the last few years, snow has always delayed its arrival, and sometimes skipped Christmas altogether, visiting us a little in February or even March, like a much awaited guest who, by endlessly postponing his visit, has made himself unwelcome.

Perhaps the atheists are changing the weather patterns and preventing the formation of snow. Or perhaps Santa’s health is deteriorating due to his advanced age and has thoughtful wife has added a clause to his contract which makes it clear that there shouldn’t be any snow during his deliveries, to spare him from the inconveniences of icy snowflakes which, by means of melting in his beard, cause him tooth and face chills. Or perhaps climate change is to blame.

I guess I should put on more efficient light bulbs, look for new ways to, ahem, reduce my carbon footprint, and hope for the best. For snow next Christmas, that is.

This year, though, it looks like another snowless, charmless, insipid Christmas. I even hear whispers that the spirit of Christmas is dying, that atheists, technology, and modern living are killing it off, that it’s only religious graybeards and especially the shopping industry that’s keeping it alive, but come on, let’s face it, Christmas is still one of the best excuses we have to gather together with our families or those people dearest to us and pass a day or two in warm proximity, talking about all those things we didn’t have the time to talk about so far this year (what better time for gay people to come out or for serious diagnoses to be flaunted before familiar eyes?) and indulging in the consumption of large quantities of food (let’s face it, probably the most unhealthy meals we eat all year long). I could tell you about the tortures my compatriots subject pigs for the sake of the Christmas dinner, but hey, they enjoy it, so who am I to spoil their fun with my voiced sensibilities, which anyway would fall on ears deafened by roaring appetites?

Fake plastic snow.

Or foam snow, neatly bottled and easily sprayed on your windowsill and rooftop.

Or snow-making home appliances, plugg them in a just set the timer… shovel included.

Or snow delivery companies, providing lab-made snow as part of an all-inclusive, free shipping, fast delivery, easy distribution service.
Is that the future of Christmas?

I would shudder, I really would, but it’s just not cold enough for a proper shudder.

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Any snow on your windowsill, dear reader? Say yes, and even it’s just a little, you will comfort me.

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27 thoughts on “Climate Change, Oh Climate Change, Why Are You Unsnowing My Christmas?

  1. Same concern with me. Though it would be mad to ask for snow here in Florida, it’d be generous to have some cooler weather. It feels like spring here.

          1. I’m not sure, honestly. But I’ve always pictured myself somewhere overseas in Europe. I feel drawn to France and Italy especially since that is where my ancestors are from.

    1. Do you think that is true everywhere or just in cities? Surely in the countryside, where the consumerists have not yet penetrated the virgin soils and polluted the unspoilt forests things are somewhat better, no?

      1. That is not true everywhere and for everyone. It wasn’t a universal truth kind of affirmation. Maybe the older generation still preserves some of the Christmas spirit, maybe not. But do you think there aren’t consumerists in the countryside?

    1. Sorry, I didn’t finish. My Colorado relatives are already under a dump of snow and cold. Record setting I think. Seems like the snow still makes its appearance, just a bit more unpredictable.

  2. Hi there! The water in the ocean near me is usually well above 20 degrees celsius by December, but this year it’s hovering around 19 degrees and below. It’s the same but in reverse: climate change! Apart from that, we have the same issues: too much food, too much alcohol, but lots of friends and rellies to visit. And hundreds of people of all ages turned up for the Carols by Candlelight at Coogee beachfront.

  3. Though no snow and no need for a hat in a snow-less Christmas, we can all wish you a white Christmas :

    “Just like the ones we used to know
    Where the treetops glisten and children listen
    To hear sleigh bells in the snow”

    Randy

  4. I live in New Mexico but I am happy to say if I had window sills there would be some snow dusting them (but there is some in the back yard). Which is odd, because we don’t normally get snow for the winter, so it has made it feel quite Christmasy. So maybe on Christmas there will be some snow drifts hiding in the shadows from the sun.

  5. This past weekend in upstate and central New York, we had a massive snow storm come through! It was the first one of the season; unfortunately I had a 3 hour drive right through it on my way home from college (not so fun by the way) and was not allowed the opportunity to window gaze at the pretty white flakes falling from the sky. This week, we’re back to warm temperatures and rain.
    While I have enjoyed the warmer temperatures recently and the ability to walk/drive around on safe, black pavement in flats, stiletto heels, and clogs, I do miss the beauty and atmosphere that crisp, white snow brings. Unless a miracle happens, SU will unfortunately have a green and brown Christmas this year.

  6. Sadly I cannot give you comfort, for the snow has passed me by for a few years now, and we have rain – torrential, merciless, not-very-caring-if-I-drown-you-or-not rain. In England this year, thousands of people have spent their Christmas in houses ruined by floods. I am an atheist, but I deny all responsibility.

  7. I empathize with you Vincent, having no snow on Christmas just doesn’t seem the same. I’ve been in Florida for two years and lighted palm trees under 77* skies on Christmas just isn’t doing it. These days some blame a snow-less Christmas on climate-change, global warming, or my favorite, man caused adverse effects in weather patterns…ugh…call it what you will, but it’s reported that scientists believe the Earth to be somewhere between 4.5 to 4.6 billion years old. It is also suggested that it was not until roughly 1920, or thereabouts, before the first actual weather forecasts were made based upon numerical calculations, (i.e. actual math). In short, Nature is really to blame for your snow-less Christmas because unlike, “rampant consumerist commercialism,” as manniqueen brought up; which man could change, Nature will do what Nature has been doing for, well, 4 BILLION years. I sincerely hope you see snow next Christmas, but if not, it’s perfectly natural. (And if you want a crazier theory on why weather and the earth are in an uproar, there’s always my theory, that it’s the negative energy billions of people transmit because they’re all so damn angry).
    – mult noroc Vincent

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