Writing turns me into a little God sometimes, but more often, it makes me feel vulnerable. To write, I often have to give things up and retreat into my bubble. I have to face my thoughts and my emotions. I have to turn with my back to half the world so I can face the page.
Writing is a solitary endeavor. Draft after draft, edit after edit, revision after revision – the hours fly. When you spend days, weeks, months writing, you spend days, weeks, months not doing something else. Not traveling, not meeting people, not falling in love.
During this time, you may exist in a state of complete or partial isolation. You may not make money, establish connections, build up muscle, or work toward getting a nicer house or a nicer car – things which, in the eyes of many, are more valuable than an article, poem, short story, or book can ever be.
So why would a sensible person choose to write as a way of life?
I cannot answer for others, but I can answer for myself.
First, the honest answer: because I cannot help it.
And now the rest of it…
Because that vulnerability conceals a depth of feeling and a deep sensibility that enrich life. That make the little things matter: the light falling on a leaf, the sway of a blade of grass, the smell of a daffodil, the twinkle of a star at night. That make us notice a woman’s eyebrows when everyone else looks only at her eyes.
Because writing is a form of meditation. It’s a way to make this world your own.
And because it is a way of creating instead of destroying, a way of giving something to others in return for everything that you have to consume.
Also, because being vulnerable makes you honest with yourself and with others, even when that honesty hurts.
Too often we pretend we are better than we really are. We tell ourselves stories. We create versions of ourselves. Writing as a way of life allows us to do all that, but at the same time, it reminds us that we need to be vulnerable to be ourselves.
Because we are fragile and at any moment our life can end. And that’s something we can’t allow ourselves to forget if we are to live a life that is authentically ours and not merely the product of other people’s agenda.
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Does writing make you feel vulnerable?
boy with a hat 
I love this. I have a friend who said, “We write because we Must write”. I love the idea of creating something out of nothing. Your line about “a way of creating instead of destroying”. Yes! There have been times when what ends up on the page surprises me. It came from deep inside me, a place only I am privy to, but there it is, exposed for all the world to see. Vulnerable? Yes.
Lovely write up… I have to make enormous efforts to find time to write but I can’t help it. I just need to write and yes, it makes me vulnerable.
Do you manage to write every day, Shivangi?
Rarely… but I manage once in a week. And I am grateful for that but I am hoping to get more time soon😀
Really great post, I wholeheartedly relate to this, particuarly ‘writing is a form of meditation. It’s a way to make this world your own.’ Thanks for sharing.
I find that’s especially true when writing with a pen on paper and our words are not mediated by any device.
Offtopic: nice hat!
“Because writing is a form of meditation” – love this truth. And yes, I feel vulnerable when I write; that’s partly why I haven’t shared my blog with most friends and family 😅 I like that I have a little corner where I can meditate and be vulnerable without the judgment of the social media world.
I can understand that. It took me a long time before sharing my blog with my family.
Well said. I find sharing my writing makes me feel vulnerable as well. As though I am sharing my child and want her to be liked.
Well put.