Relationships are like mushrooms really – some are tasty, other poisonous. There’s so much we cannot control about them. Emotions can be fickle, theirs, as well as ours, and the closer we become to someone, the more expectations there are.
But we can use our good sense, our reason even, to decide how much and how fast we invest our trust and emotions in others. Sometimes we choose who we love. At other times love chooses us. But to be helplessly in love with someone is not such a common occurrence, not even for the most romantic of us, especially not if we’ve been through heartbreak before.
People, are, just like us, consciously or unconsciously selfish, even when they have the best intentions. They can take what we offer them, and then, they can complain that it is not enough, and then they can move on. Sometimes it is not enough. At other times they only want much more than they can give back.
“If we live in too close proximity to a person, it is as if we kept touching a good etching with our bare fingers; one day we have poor, dirty paper in our hands and nothing more. A human being’s soul is likewise worn down by continual touching; at least it finally appears that way to us – we never see its original design and beauty again. One always loses by all-too-intimate association with women and friends; and sometimes one loses the pearl of his life in the process.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
But we can’t really keep our distance from everyone, can we? A philosophical kind of indifference towards relationships can trap us without our realizing into a shell of solitude from which we may not be able to break free. Ever. Or not often enough. Even us solitary people need other people in our lives, if not to live happily ever after with them, then at least to reaffirm the value of our solitude and learn to cherish it anew.
We should not deny ourselves dreams of love. We should not let our pride or fears get in the way. But we must not rush things. Some people are more stable than others, and also more kind. And those are the people who can take our love and grow something beautiful out of it, for them, as well as for us.
And where are these people?
Probably not on dating sites, but certainly out there in the world. We will bump into them one day, or they into us. There’s so many of us in this world that we really cannot help it. Meanwhile, let’s work on improving ourselves. Let’s prepare for them the best version of ourselves we can be. If we do this, things will work out better next time, and the babies will be bright and happy, too.
Let me ask you now, have you found your better half or are you still searching?