She was driving on a snowy road when a truck crashed into her. She saw the northern lights.
Three days later, she awoke in a gloomy hospital room with a terrible headache.
Her nose tip tingled. She wanted to scratch it, but her arms would not move.
She turned pale.
Published by Vincent Mars
I write as a way of life: stories, blogs, articles, almost-poems. I'm a freelancer, a vegetarian, and I listen to Leonard Cohen and enjoy French films. We are dying a little more with each new day we live, so shouldn't we make the most of our time?
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10 thoughts on “50-Word Tales #108”
y dd u tell evry1 my stry…
typng this w/ my nse
That blasted truck driver should donate his arms to her. Unless they are tattooed with naked ladies. She probably would rather be armless than have naked lady, truck driver arms.
I think you’re probably right about that, Luke!
Excellent observation Lucas.
I have a feeling she was probably already pale… The realization made her turn sheet white.
Some imagination you have, my dear… I’d love to see the Northern Lights, though, not, I think, at the cost of losing my arms. 😉
That’s a sad sad story, Vinc. And what is even more sad, is that it’s so life-like. ..
“Her nose tip tingled her. She wanted to scratch it, but then it struck her that she had no arms.”
I would nix the “her” so it reads, “Her nose tip tingled.” And for the second clause of the second sentence, what about something like, “but her arms wouldn’t move.”
So it would read, “Her nose tip tingled. She wanted to scratch it, but her arms wouldn’t move.”
Kind of shows us more than tells us. Just one man’s critique. Good stuff though, I still felt the power of the piece.
Interested to read more.
Yup! I agree.
The thing is I don’t always have time for editing. 🙂
You’ll receive two invisible gifts for your keen observations.
Reblogged this on alpaulex.