Joanna sent her bookish husband Randy to the market, to buy mustard. ‘Be back in 15 minutes,’ she said. Randy returned two hours later, with a book on methods of execution used in the Middle Ages. ‘Where’s the mustard?’ ‘Oh!’ he said, scratching his head. ‘I knew I forgot something.’

When the victorious general entered the conquered castle, he noticed a soldier with his back to him, who was smashing with a mighty club the corpse of an archer, turning it into pulp. ‘Enough!’ the general said. The soldier turned - a long arrow was stuck in his left eye-socket.

While visiting a whorehouse abroad, old Thomas found his long-lost daughter. She took him to her chamber and undressed. She did not recognize him, and he pretended not to recognize her. Excusing himself, he paid her and went out without doing anything. That night old Thomas wept salty, salty tears.