You know how that feels? Like I have to wait at your door in uncertain weather while you make up your mind whether to let me in or not. By the time you decide, I may be gone from your blog, gone from your life for good.
Are you going to run a relevancy check on my comment?
Check whether it’s morally, intellectually, politically, and religiously compatible with you?
Will you edit it if it’s off topic?
Will you move it to trash if you don’t like it? If it’s too short or too long?
Probably not.
Chances are you’ll accept it even if it’s off-topic.
If you disagree with what I have to say, you’ll probably reply with a comment of your own.
And you know why? Because the same impulse that made you create your blog makes you accept other voices. If you were the narrow-minded, not-going-to-listen-to-you-because-I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong sort, you probably wouldn’t be blogging in the first place.
Sure, you may be opinionated. You may have values that conflict with mine. It’s precisely because of that that you accept even problematic comments.
If you wouldn’t listen in the first place, you wouldn’t be opinionated or anything. You’d only be a wall that others will throw things at. A wall that time will eventually crack and destroy, like it does to all walls.
So please tell me — why is my comment awaiting moderation?
Wait. I think I know.
It’s probably because of a small setting you may not be aware of. In fact, you may not even know that my comment is awaiting moderation.
Here’s how to change it. Go to Settings > Discussion and follow the instructions.
Welcome me in, will you? You can kick me out, if you don’t like me. But you won’t know whether you like me or not until you get to know me.
*
PS: How do you feel when a comment of yours is “awaiting moderation?”
Photo by Oumaima Ben Chebtit on Unsplash
boy with a hat 
Ha! You had me worried I had comments waiting moderation! I’m all good.
Hiiii say
Hiiii sayno
Ooh, ooh! What’s my invisible gift?
Now onto the topic at hand.
It would be interesting to hear from actual sources what motivates people to hold other people’s comments before approving it.
Personally, I always thought these people were somewhat … more important than others and had a lot of spammers/ bots posting fishing links or spamming ads.
But yes, you are absolutely right. It makes me pause for a second when I get that “awaiting moderation” message. I wonder if I will be good enough to get approved, or if it will be trashed or even worse – forgotten.
You seem to be very optimistic by saying that bloggers are not afraid of different opinions. People are still people, even if it’s an online world. Some still care what other people think about them. Some do not like confrontations.
From my experience, Akismet does a great job at filtering spam, and it works regardless of moderation. Don’t you think that you can also avoid a confrontation by not responding to one? Leaving a bad comment stand? Ignoring it?
Some people do not like others disagreeing with them/ saying something negative about what they said, hence just “leaving” the comment is a no-no. It would just show others that someone disagrees, which would ruin the author’s (of the blog) authority. It’s silly, but true.
I don’t understand it either – if worse comes to worse, you can delete the comment. But I guess you run the risk of someone seeing it, before you get to do that. *gasps*
I’ve been held in a lot of moderation queues and have one on my blog. It’s only for the first comment and is there to stop people taking up space with sales spam. Having said that, I would also be happy to use it to catch what I find to be inappropriate comments, perhaps where someone thinks I need to know that Pres Obama’s laws need to be overruled because they were made by a black man ( How would I have otherwise known). I don’t have a space for bigotry on my blog.
Hugs
The alternative, of course, is to delete those comments after they’re made. But I see your point. What’s important is for everyone to consider at least once whether moderating comments is actually good for their blog. A lot of people have moderation on by default and they’re not even aware of it. There are cases when comment moderation could be a good thing, though. So, David, I will not even try to pull your beard because of it.
I think, ‘eh, they will probably accept soon’. it really doesn’t ever occur to me that they won’t! Also, off topic, I know (please do not edit!), but I like how you invite people to comment by promising an invisible gift.. one can’t call you out on that because the gift is.. invisible! 🙂
The flick of a button. Thanks for that.
Wow meni thoughts fact pick up books awaiting.
Sorry, but that’s not enough for me to delete your comment. Experimental commenting, I call it. It has artistic value. Really.
Actually thought your site quinine
I went to my settings and then to my discussion but wasn’t sure what the buttons mean so didn’t change any of the settings.
I have a HUGE issue with comments being moderated. I’ve only deleted two in six years. The argument is bloggers don’t want comments to post until they have time to respond. I think it makes the blog look like no one was interested, especially if it takes a couple of days.
This is new to me, me myself never change or delete any comments on my blog. I like the Idea of people responding my writing, no matter whats on their mind 🙂
Sometimes I think the responses in my spam box are the most interesting reactions to my posts. One guy the other week said he liked my posts but found my spelling ‘disturbing’. I’m still wondering about that. (I’m English, of course, so I put in all those extra ‘u’s Americans find so irritating). Moderation? It seems to appear without any rhyme or reason, then go again. I think there is a Microsoft spy which sneaks in by night and alters my settings…
Love the blue door leading to the dark inside. I’ve always been wondering about my comments that are “waiting for moderation” -usually, i do not see them approved. Which is more frightening is that i see a lot of blogs, interesting ones, that prompts you and other people to comment (have the comment section, the call to action that makes you want express your point of view) and no comments at all.
So i would write of curiosity – to see what would happen. Nothing. I used to read this incredible blog about art through ages – believe it or not 1 year after i tried to congratulate the writer via comments, my comment still is in moderation!
I can see your point of view but I personally do moderate comments because of the amount of spam that I have received. Yes, WordPress has caught most of it but not all of it. In addition, I’ve had hateful/spiteful comments posted as well. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, in fact, I enjoy a lively and intelligent conversation between people who don’t agree, but I won’t accept hateful comments. I believe it’s a personal choice and while I can see where you are coming from, I, at least, do not moderate comments or edit them based on relevancy. Interesting point of view though, glad I read it!
Spam is indeed a problem. And I fully understand your point. I think that some types of blogs attract more spam than others. Ultimately, comment moderation is a personal matter for every blogger.
Completely agree 🙂