The Love Woes of a Hatted Boy (Continued)

Woman with black hair

Today I woke before sunrise to write a love note for a woman who doesn’t know I exist.

I see her from my window almost every morning. Her bob cut disrupts my writing hours.

The note explained that each time I saw her an invisible baby elephant sat on my chest.

I did not have silly hopes. She is older than me. Maybe she is married, maybe she has children.

I rolled the note like a parchment and tied it with a blue ribbon.

*

I washed my hair, shaved, and dressed in my best clothes. I even found a forgotten bottle of perfume and sprinkled its contends on my cheeks and neck.

After much thoughtful consideration I decided not to wear my hat – I have realized that sometimes it makes me seem suspicious.

I put the note in the interior left pocket of my blazer, close to my drumming heart.

*

On my way to the gate I trespassed into my mother’s garden, and after a moment of hesitation, plucked the freshest and rosiest rose I could find and put it next to the note.

I knew well the troubles I was getting myself into – pacifying my mother will be harder than performing dental surgery on a fire-breathing dragon. But I did it nevertheless, for the sake of a woman’s inky hair…

*

So I went on my romantic adventure. I waited for her at the corner of the street rehearsing in my mind what I will say to her and how…

  • introduce myself as a writer (which I hoped would explain the slight eccentricity of my endeavor),
  • tell her of the story I have written for her,
  • ask her name so I can name the story’s protagonist after her,
  • call her the most interesting person who had ever walked on that street,
  • praise her hair…

In short, befuddling her while my clumsy yet delicate hands produced the rose and the letter, which would explain everything.

*

I waited for her almost an hour in the chilly morning. But she did not come.

*

I plucked the rose petals one by one and then turned on my iPod, putting on repeat I Will Wait from Mumford and Sons, which is a sad song, and slunk home, where I fell on my bed like a sack of potatoes, hugged my pillow imagining it was her, and wept salty, salty tears…

Help!

What should the boy with(out) a hat do? Should he try to forget the woman with inky hair and use his love woes as inspiration for his stories, or pluck another rose from the witch’s garden and wait again at the corner of the street tomorrow?

*

Most of you suggested I should pluck another rose… I decided to do that on Friday, when she was most likely to come again…

***

But who do you think I saw today at noon? The woman with inky hair…

*

She passed in front of my window with a little girl with inky hair. Before they turned the street corner she took the little girl’s hand and kissed it.

At that time I was reading your comments. It was as if they had conjured her. The way things happen in this giddy world…

 *

The girl may be her own. Or maybe the woman is a sitter, as I have suspected all along. I have good evidence for this.

But she was happy. That settles it. Sometimes you can show that you love someone by not doing anything. I can confuse love with selfishness and pluck another rose… But would I be a gentleman then? Would I deserve to wear my hat?

And it’s easier to let go of this fantasy romance before it takes roots in the real world.

*

Each time a boy falls in love with a woman and keeps it secret from her, somewhere in the world a rose withers, and a peach falls on the dirt from a tree, and a cloud weeps, and a little boy hunting for butterflies realizes that his net has caught only a moth, and a baby is stillborn…

But this time it won’t be a tragedy, because although she will never know, others have. He will not let the disappointment grow into a parasite of sorrow, but use it as inspiration for his stories. The beautiful lies will beat the sober truth.

*

But I still carry the love note in the interior pocket of my blazer, and if I ever bump into her, I will have a lot to tell her…

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88 thoughts on “The Love Woes of a Hatted Boy (Continued)

  1. You must do it again. What’s the worst that could happen, really? She could run screaming like a mad woman…who cares about that?

    What could be better, for a woman than to know that you are a muse? I can think if nothing. This would make her day, especially if she has a husband or children. A woman loves a compliment, a woman LOVES love notes.
    To know a talent such as yourself has been inspired by just her presence..that would be the ultimate in complements.

  2. If you feel you would regret not trying to connect with this lovely object of your affection, then I encourage you to wait for her again. The pain of regret is far worse than the ache for connection. Best wishes!

  3. I think you should send her another letter and rose- it is a beautifully romantic thing to receive. Wear your hat; it seems like part of you! Hope it goes well, Gertie xx

  4. Wow, where were boys like you when I was single? As mrsdeboots said, she will at least be flattered by the gesture even if she doesn’t, or can’t, return your affection.

    It’s refreshing to know chivalry and romance is very much alive and well in this day and age.

  5. Oh my…

    I have read the story (which sucked me in by the way) and I have read all the comments. Most people here seem to agree you should go for it again. Mostly because a woman will always be flattered with such romantic compliment. True. She will be. But this is not only about how that woman will feel. It’s also about you. And, we, as your cyber friends should care about that especially. So you have to ask yourself, what do you want to hear in return? What do you WANT in return? Is a success better than a heartbreak? And if she’s much older and possibly happily married, the risk of heartbreak is very high…

    After that maybe not so encouraging intro, I say, I think you should do it. To not regret ever you didn’t. To not look back at it and think you should have, and now it’s just too late…
    Who knows, maybe this is a beginning of a great love story… If not…well… you always said you create better when you’re down and melancholic… And a heartbreak always passes with time…

    The only thing you have to loose here is a beautiful fantasy. She may turn out to be someone far from your imagination or she may respond to your romantic gesture in a insensitive way. But after all, it’s better to live life, not fantasy.

    I’ll be with you in my thoughts tomorrow if you only decide to try again.

    Don’t worry that it didn’t go with your plan today, best things come to those who wait, as they say!

    😉

    Let us know what you decided.

    Oh! And hat or without… doesn’t matter. You just be yourself, and it’ll be perfect!

    1. Sweet Julita…

      You echo many of my thoughts.

      First I should say that I left out from this post a paragraph about the contents of the love note. As I’ve said, I did not have silly hopes. I assumed that she was married.

      The purpose of my romantic endeavours was to make her a compliment and also to fill a tiny cell in her head with a small memory of me. By this I tried to make myself less invisible, because for a reclusive writer invisibility is comes naturally…

      Unconfessed likings are sad, sad things, and when they accumulate they sour the character and drain the confidence. I tried to avoid having to keep another unconfessed liking to myself. (I have many of these.)

      Moreover, I believe that good love stories are those that grow out of friendships, and are thus not wholly dependent on looks. I think that if a man loves a woman he should try to make friends with her naturally, rather than assault her with gifts and attentions, as these always put some pressure on her and force her to make a decision. And if she is not lonely and wretched, and the wooer is a stranger, and younger, it is only naturally for her to say no, politely or impolitely.

      As to enjoying the fantasy… you are right. A beautiful lie is sweeter than a sober truth. After all, a fantasy drives my life…

      The story will be continued in another post today,

  6. I wouldn’t try again, but then I wouldn’t have tried the first time. I’m the troll under the bridge, and the troll doesn’t get the princess, or if he does some knight comes around and chops off his head. Better to go back to my cave and gnaw bones.

  7. If the romantic gesture is the important thing then go with it! But you might get let down. If your approach doesn’t work, she will still walk past your window and then where will you be? Call me more practical than romantic, but you might want to get to know her a bit more before making a gesture like that. You could have a stupid excuse to be down on the street, such as taking photographs of the neighborhood. Then you could hopefully talk to her a little bit and see what she’s like. 🙂

    1. Tell her you are a novelist, tell her you don’t want fame, you don’t want power, tell her it’s for immorality. Then say something funny to make her blush and turn rose-red. Then tell her about the invisible elephants sitting on your heart. Tell her your vocabulary has changed since her existence in your mind….and then wait for her reply. If she doesn’t love you, then I will put invisible elephants inside my chest and sit in the same seat for at least 4 days until the heaviness of your loss is retrieved .

  8. Whatever you do, you must keep trying. As I was reminded today by a friend, it’s much better to live a life of “oh well”s than a life of “what if”s. BTW, I agree, the hat is the clincher. By all means don’t leave home without it 🙂

  9. Take your hat, make yourself special and impress her, but don’t scare her.
    I will wait because there is always hope that she will come.
    And the waiting time is kinda bittersweet 😀

  10. Hatted Boy –

    Just keep plucking away..

    Keep your head up, ask for some spiritual help, and put your right hand under your left armpit and make pluck-pluck noises until you laugh.

    Life is too short to get plucked up over a swing and a “miss.” (baseball reference, hatted boy).

    Good luck. let us know what happens.

    Randy

  11. I think you should tell her your writing a story in which one of the characters resembles her, and that you’d love to know her name to give that character her name as well.

    I have a feeling she’ll read your story once it’s published…

  12. Your wonderful story transported me back in time to a disco (Yes, it was that long ago) where I tried to pluck up the courage to ask a boy to dance. Apart from the fact that it was unheard of for a girl to take such a stance it was also the most nerve racking experience of my young life. I asked. We danced. We went out together for a while. It ended. I was never sorry I asked him although I never had the courage to ‘pluck a rose’ again. Thanks so much for the memory. Dearbhla

  13. It is always appropriate to compliment a woman. It just comes down to how you do it. You can’t come off like a stalker and you can’t expect anything more than a smile and a thank you. I say get out there and wait for her. But also be prepared for her to lose her status in your eyes, in your mind if she doesn’t give you what you want or need. The most intriguing element could be the fantasy you’ve built up around her.

  14. Do you, don’t you? Who can say? Only you. Do what your heart tells you to do. Either give up the fantasy and go somewhere you can meet a girl, talk to her and get to know her or pursue your impulse and give a rose to a neighbour. She will either be flattered or embarrassed because she is older than you and married with a child. The important thing is to act. To keep the energy flowing. Your writing is beautiful. Whatever happens it will feed your writing and you will have moved on from a fantasy that could turn on you and consume you in an unhealthy way.

  15. Your liking one of my poems led me here! What a treat you offer this morning! Thank you! I was feeling that “Awww” kind of sadness when she didn’t show up for you, but like how you made sense of the tragedy!

    1. I have a weak heart.

      I take off my hat and wave with it at you. 🙂

      Do your perchance know Patricia?

      I think she’s pretty, but don’t tell her! Compliments make girls haughty.

      -A boy

      1. You have a beautiful heart because it is weak.

        If you mean Patricia my grandmother, I know her quite well, but I’m forbidden from speaking to her much less complimenting her.

        I must say, compliments make some girls quite embarrassed.

        – a girl

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