To A Reader Of My Blog With Whom I Am Secretly In Love
by Vincent Mars
In my wildest fantasy you are walking on the street
On a rainy day,
Wearing not a miniskirt
But tight black jeans,
Carrying a fancy umbrella in one hand
And your smartphone in the other,
Your browser open to my blog,
Which you read with keen attention,
So much so that you’re utterly oblivious
To the tripping danger you are in:
Alas, your shoelaces are undone!
It so happens that I pass by you and,
Observing your untied shoelaces,
Feel a surge of courage & romantic duty.
So I halt and cry,
‘Stop! Please stop! Yes, you!’
Startled, you turn and look at me
And I point at your feet and say,
‘Alackaday! Your shoelaces are undone!’
Then, before you can protest,
I’m down on my knees before you,
Tying your troublesome shoelaces,
An expression of profound concentration on my face,
Tongue poking out of the corner of my mouth…
Ah, what will you do when I am done?
Will you strike me in the head with your umbrella?
Or unfollow my blog?
Or pull me up and kiss me on the cheek?
*(c) Painting by Andre Kohn